why we can’t stop scrolling (and how to break the loop)

the neuroscience of phone habits

I think many of us carry a quiet shame about how glued we are to our phones. We call it an addiction, half-joking, but deep down, we all know there’s real truth to that.

It is a well-known fact that phones are deliberately designed to keep us engaged - intentionally rooted in well-established principles of how our brains work. And yet, despite knowing this, we shame ourselves for our inability to disengage.

My hope with this piece is that it creates space for understanding. Once we understand just how these devices hook our attention, we begin to see the patterns. And when we see those patterns clearly, it opens up even more space - space for awareness, for self-compassion, and for change.

(This piece was inspired by a video created by Christophe Haubursin at Vox as part of the “By Design” series. I’ve linked it in the section below, if you are interested in a short-form video explanation.)

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The Neuroscience of Phone Habits

There are three main design features that keep us tethered to our smartphones, and each one targets a process in the brain linked to survival and social connection.

1. Push Notifications (The Reward Loop)

Every ding, buzz, or banner is designed to feel urgent and meaningful. Neurologically, these notifications activate the brain’s dopamine system - the circuits responsible for motivation and reward. What makes them especially powerful is their unpredictability. Sometimes the notification brings something exciting, sometimes it’s trivial. This taps into what’s known as a variable reward schedule, a pattern that is especially sticky for the brain (and the same principle that keeps people hooked on slot machines). Over time, this wires us to check and re-check, chasing the next hit of reward.

2. Notification Badges (Unresolved Tension)

The little red badge on your app icon does more than signal an update - it creates a subtle psychological tension. Red, as a color, is highly activating, sparking a response in the amygdala, the brain’s center for processing alerts and emotional salience. Beyond the color, these badges exploit the Zeigarnik effect, a phenomenon where the brain keeps unresolved tasks active in our awareness. That lingering notification feels like an open loop, and we feel compelled to close it, even if the action itself is minor. It’s a simple design choice, but it plays directly into our brain’s need for resolution.

3. Infinite Scroll (Endless Search Mode)

Many apps are built around endless feeds - no natural stopping points, just continuous content. This design keeps the brain’s seeking system engaged, a system that’s also driven by dopamine. Interestingly, dopamine is less about the pleasure of receiving and more about the pursuit of something rewarding. The infinite scroll taps into this perfectly, keeping us in an open-ended loop of seeking novelty. Without a clear cue to stop, the brain stays in search mode far longer than we intend.

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These features are not accidental or benign. They are specifically designed to work with (or better, exploit) our brain’s natural wiring. Recognizing this doesn’t mean we have to ditch our phones entirely, but it does mean we must approach them with more awareness. By seeing the hooks for what they are, we create space for choice.

It also shifts the narrative from I have no willpower to oh…my brain is responding exactly as designed”, which is powerful. It replaces self-blame with understanding and gives us the chance to work with our brains, not against them.

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Creating Cognitive Space from the Algorithm

A few light experiments to shift your phone habits:

• turn off non-essential notifications. no buzz = no immediate dopamine chase. start with social media and news apps, keeping only what’s truly urgent. and disable notification badges where possible. out of sight, out of that nagging amygdala loop.

• before opening a feed, decide in advance how long you’ll scroll. or set a literal timer, like a digital “closing time” for your scrolling session.

• pick one place (the dining table, your bed) where your phone doesn’t go. this gently reclaims space for rest and connection. the Center for Humane Technology has a well-balanced, compact resource for intentional tech use.

• my personal favorite, match your screen time with your sky time. for every 20 minutes of scrolling, step outside and look up - at the clouds, the moon, the messy branches. let the natural scroll of the sky balance the digital one.

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to get off our phones that we start feeling guilty anytime we’re on them - even when the experience is genuinely enjoyable or meaningful. But the goal (for most of us) was never to throw our phones out and go completely off-grid - that’s not very realistic in today’s world. Since we can’t get rid of them, what we can change is our relationship to them. And like any healthy relationship, that starts with intentionality.

• create space for intentional consumption - almost like you would when sitting down with a sleepy girl mocktail and putting on your favorite show. drink a tea while watching TikTok in your backyard as the sun sets. put on some jazz and explore art accounts like you’re flipping through a digital gallery. let yourself fully enjoy what you love about your phone - connecting with people, learning something new, getting inspired, discovering interests you didn’t know you had. it’s less about how much time you spend, and more about how you engage.

And remember, the goal is not perfection; it’s more breathing room for your attention and well-being.

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Clarity Creates Choice

If you feel addicted to your phone, it’s not because you’re lacking willpower. These devices are designed to hook us, using well-understood neural mechanisms to keep us engaged. Feeling stuck in that loop is a very human response to a system built to entrap us.

When we understand how this works, we cultivate something powerful - awareness. With that awareness comes responsibility; not blame, but what I like to view as self-parenting. You know your phone is designed to pull you in, so it’s up to you to make careful, intentional choices about how you engage. That’s not easy work; in fact, it’s quietly radical.

The tech industry benefits when we feel hopeless, because hopelessness breeds passivity. If you believe you can’t change your habits, you’re more likely to stay stuck in the cycle, endlessly scrolling, clicking, and consuming. On top of that, the same industry often sells the “solutions” to the very problems it creates: digital detox apps, mindfulness tools, productivity hacks. It’s a clever loop - create the addiction, then profit again by selling the cure. When we’re demoralized, we either keep feeding the system or we blame ourselves so harshly that we give up trying altogether.

Recognizing what’s really happening disrupts this cycle. It reframes the problem from a personal failing to a systemic design - and that shift matters. Clarity allows for choice, even small ones, and every small choice is a way of reclaiming your attention, your time, and your well-being.

i hope this post gave you something to sit with. if it resonated, your thoughts, feelings, and experiences are fully welcome here (in the comments, community chat, or message me!) <3

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References

1. Alter, A. (2017). Irresistible: The rise of addictive technology and the business of keeping us hooked. Penguin Press.

how tech products are deliberately engineered to exploit behavioral addiction mechanisms in the brain.

2. Clark, L., & Zack, M. (2023). Engineered highs: Reward variability and frequency as potential prerequisites of behavioural addiction. Addictive Behaviors, 139, 107626. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.addbeh.2023.107626

how variable rewards (like those in push notifications and infinite scroll) can mimic the brain’s response to addictive substances.

3. Kuniecki, M., Pilarczyk, J., & Wichary, S. (2015). The color red attracts attention in an emotional context: An ERP study. PLoS ONE, 10(4), e0124934. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2015.00212

finds that red hues (like notification badges) capture and hold emotional attention.

4. Montag, C., Lachmann, B., Herrlich, M., & Zweig, K. (2019). Addictive features of social media/messenger platforms and freemium games against the background of psychological and economic theories. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 16(14), 2612. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16142612

how app design features (e.g., badges, infinite scroll) are rooted in psychological principles like the Zeigarnik effect to keep users engaged longer.

5. Kesner, A. J., Calva, C. B., & Ikemoto, S. (2022). Seeking motivation and reward: Roles of dopamine, hippocampus, and supramammillo-septal pathway. Progress in Neurobiology, 217, 102337. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pneurobio.2022.102337

on the brain’s dopamine-driven seeking system, which is activated by novelty and uncertainty (which is what infinite scroll exploits).