I think the feeling of “never again” also plays into the design of our childhoods. A lot of the spaces we spent time in as children have become grey and corporate, schools are pushing children to use laptops at younger ages and we are all living in a digital space. We need to be present and aware but acknowledge this and maybe try to bring the color and whimsy back from the cement grave.
I read “laptops” then thought of taking a coloring book (which i can’t stand coloring) into the woods and coloring and then I read “color” in your comment 🤗 lol interestingg
Beautiful message. I agree that so many people on social media focus too much on the negative aspects of nostalgia, leaning into the "we will never have this feeling again". I love that you offer ways to connect with our inner child and experience everyday life through a new perspective.
You’re so right!! It became a feeling of ache, thinking we could never return again but the truth is you can always connect to the inner child again. You just have to change your perspective.
I whole heartedly agree! This, combined with the agency that adulthood has to offer can create such a wonderful avenue for experiencing life in ways that we couldn’t as children. By incorporating mindfulness and presence into the agency of adulthood one can truly create a more memorable life!
> It’s tempting to romanticize childhood, to believe that life was once more vibrant simply because we were young
Nice article and think you make great points. Wanted to add to this part. I think in addition to what you say our memories are probably misleading us a bit. We experience these events (e.g. a summer day) many many times but are not remembering all of them to compare against the current day. We probably aren’t remembering an average day either. And maybe not even the best day. It might be an amalgamation of the most fun moments of various days recollected as one summer “day” which never actually existed. And you are comparing that to any given summer day you are now experiencing. So it’s like always comparing something to the best and possibly unrealistic version of itself
i like this angle - i feel like it drives home the point of being present. allowing you to find the simple beauty than hoping for that grand summer day
i really liked the point you made. it makes so much sense now that i realise that i am comparing my present to a collection of past memories from different days and not one specific memory from a particular day. also want to point that at times when i am not actiely on my phone and am with people whose company i genuinely enjoy, i experience the same fun that i used to as a kid and i realise the importance of being around someone who makes you feel light
Love what you said about our memories misleading us, I feel it’s literally the same reason why people continue to chase their emotionally unavailable love interests because the brain tends to forget the ugly parts of something over a significant chunk of time
whelp, this is amazing. i feel as though i am always drawn to who i was as a child, like i’ve lost her along the way. i feel as thought after reading this maybe i can find her by taking a few deep breaths and becoming more present. thank you for writing this, it’s beautiful <3
thank you for your comment, i feel the same exact way about my childhood self,, it was a big inspiration for writing this and it means so much to hear that others also feel this way <3
we are still the same souls! isn't that crazy?! its really hard for me to understand i am the same person i was when i was 7 or 14. but we still have that whimsical side to us but agree that with all these distractions, it makes time pass faster! the days when i try to be disiplined and stay off electronics are the better and longer days.
i had a convo with my sister about giving up my phone but she mentioned how impossible it would be since our whole life is pretty much engraved in our phones. almost everything requires some type of code or digital aspect which is so annoying.
i've tried so many times to cut down on all things digital, but it's so hard!! i totally agree with how they're so engrained in our lives. what's shifted the game for me is intentional/mindful consumption. i'm still practicing the habit, but choosing to sit and respond to texts when i'm actually in the mood for it (unless it's urgent) or lie down and fully immerse myself into scrolling on tiktok or pinterest (and not feeling bad about it haha) has somehow made it easier to cut out those times when i'm just reaching for my phone out of habit or distraction. still in a work in a progress though for me lol
Have you thought that maybe our digital assistants could be programmed to answer our needs better? We would not need to constantly polarize the "digital" world. Maybe we can stop guiltripping about our digital "friends" if we contribute to having them do what we want out of them: Create new moments like the Wii, etc. why let a few organizations control the algo that run our "digital wellbeing and fun" where they cater their algo to the masses. How can we contribute to making the digital world better and more syncretic to our planet needed?
A huge point which is missed here is our addictive, digital consumption. The older part of Gen Z still grew up without a phone in their hand. They still went up to each other to form new relationships, they knocked at each others house doors instead of messaging each other.
Phones and especially social media, completely turned our lives and the upbringing of future generations upside down.
agree, thank you for adding this! i will definitely be exploring and writing about this more. it's very true that many external factors, digital consumption being a huge one, have pulled us away from the way we used to live.
Absolutely, that point is completely missed and it plays a big role. Nowadays many relationships are formed or mostly kept online and it creates a complete disconnect from each other. We can pretend real connection exists online but it's really not the same and it will never be.
Being present, look closely and feel detailed life experiences. But our life is like routine so we easily forget what is life about. I should remind myself. I really like this, thx
One aspect that you miss is the playfulness of our childhood. I think as adults we conform way too much for fear of other's people disapproval. At the core of the nostalgiacore is indeed time but an even better solution than trying to squeeze more awareness of our day is to make our days more fun. Where are those amazingly immersive experience that we had in front of our Atari? (For me the last time was on the Wii). How can we create such systems that not only remind us of our childhood but expand on it around multiple axis while keeping fun authentic (not an exponential smoothing gaming algowhere we are always seeking the next hit/loot). Where are those companies? Where are their objective functions of bringing authentic fun back? That is what we miss the most.
absolutely - it’s not just presence we long for, it’s play (i think both are deeply connected - when you’re truly playful, you are present; if anything, playfulness is presence in motion). as kids, play was how we explored, created, and connected - it was immersive, purposeless in the best way. adulthood tends to squeeze that out with performance, conformity, and optimization.
we need systems, spaces, and yes, companies, that prioritize authentic fun - not dopamine farming, not gamified addiction loops, but real, imaginative, absorbing experiences. where’s the design philosophy that values wonder over winning? that direction could definitely make time feel rich again <3
This is a subject I’ve been thinking about for years, and have never seen anyone else mention or articulate. Week to week, when I’m in my normal daily grind, the days fly by and a week can feel like a mere few days. On the other hand, when I'm traveling and my days are filled with experiences that are new to me, those chunks of time always feel so much longer. Several years ago, I spent 3 weeks traveling around Europe. By the time I returned home, I truly felt like I had been away for 3 months. It’s kind of an amazing phenomenon.
monotony is the time thief – i love that framing. it truly is.
novelty expands time not just in memory, but in the moment itself. it’s wild how a single new experience can stretch a day, while routine collapses weeks into a blur. your europe example captures it perfectly - that deep, embodied sense of time lived <3
One of the saddest sentences is "you can go back, but no one would be there". Actually it used to get to me, but sometimes we have the same people from our childhood and we still feel nostalgic. It was the fact that we were children, feeling everything at the core of our souls. Your words touched something in me<33
Great article. My mentor once told me, "it's not the place you miss - it's the time." And if overtime, thanks to liquid modernity, what we loved as children becomes unrecognizable and everyone you grow up with becomes a transient cog in the workforce...I wonder if this adds another element as well.
i completely agree with what your mentor said. also with your second point - i think it definitely does play a role. i wish more people were aware of this.
right?! even nostalgia feels flattened now - like we’re recycling feelings instead of truly remembering. it’s more aesthetic than emotional. perhaps we’re longing for a time when longing itself felt deeper <3
this connects a lot to the film called “about time” starring rachel mcadams. if this article resonates with you, i highly recommend you watch the movie. i watched on amazon prime.
This made me realise how important “side quests” should be especially in your teens and early 20s, you are never going to be this age again so you should go off and do something super random, too create memories, too have fun and too make time feel slower 🥲
yes to side quests!! i’m a huge believer that our “main quest” should be our curiosities + passions - and our jobs can be the side quests. obviously working takes time and matters a lot, but i hate how it’s become the default identity (especially when we’re asked, “what do you do?”! i don't care what industry you work in, i'm curious about what lights you up!!) our passions deserve more than the leftover space!
“but we become conditioned away from seeing it” - i really agree. our attention is shaped by the systems we live in. this conditioning very much pulls us out of the present, and we start living more in expectation than in actual experience.
"I think a lot of this has to do with the way our society is structured around leverage and insecurity". Absolutely. And digital spaces only fuel that, in my opinion. Your comment made complete sense to me, and the opening sentence is just brutally true.
totally get that - nostalgiacore can feel like a warm hug and a gut-punch at the same time haha. it taps into that tender space where your inner child still lives, but also reminds you how far you’ve drifted. i like to remind myself not to get stuck in the missing, but to invite that silly, curious part of me back into the present <3
I think the feeling of “never again” also plays into the design of our childhoods. A lot of the spaces we spent time in as children have become grey and corporate, schools are pushing children to use laptops at younger ages and we are all living in a digital space. We need to be present and aware but acknowledge this and maybe try to bring the color and whimsy back from the cement grave.
such a thoughtful point, thank you!
Well put! I definitely agree, so much has changed since we were kids.
I read “laptops” then thought of taking a coloring book (which i can’t stand coloring) into the woods and coloring and then I read “color” in your comment 🤗 lol interestingg
Beautiful message. I agree that so many people on social media focus too much on the negative aspects of nostalgia, leaning into the "we will never have this feeling again". I love that you offer ways to connect with our inner child and experience everyday life through a new perspective.
THIS! Especially the last line. It's so easy to just reminisce. It feels refreshing to know that we can still feel things the way we used to.
You’re so right!! It became a feeling of ache, thinking we could never return again but the truth is you can always connect to the inner child again. You just have to change your perspective.
I whole heartedly agree! This, combined with the agency that adulthood has to offer can create such a wonderful avenue for experiencing life in ways that we couldn’t as children. By incorporating mindfulness and presence into the agency of adulthood one can truly create a more memorable life!
> It’s tempting to romanticize childhood, to believe that life was once more vibrant simply because we were young
Nice article and think you make great points. Wanted to add to this part. I think in addition to what you say our memories are probably misleading us a bit. We experience these events (e.g. a summer day) many many times but are not remembering all of them to compare against the current day. We probably aren’t remembering an average day either. And maybe not even the best day. It might be an amalgamation of the most fun moments of various days recollected as one summer “day” which never actually existed. And you are comparing that to any given summer day you are now experiencing. So it’s like always comparing something to the best and possibly unrealistic version of itself
that makes sense and it's a good point, thank you for adding it!
i like this angle - i feel like it drives home the point of being present. allowing you to find the simple beauty than hoping for that grand summer day
i really liked the point you made. it makes so much sense now that i realise that i am comparing my present to a collection of past memories from different days and not one specific memory from a particular day. also want to point that at times when i am not actiely on my phone and am with people whose company i genuinely enjoy, i experience the same fun that i used to as a kid and i realise the importance of being around someone who makes you feel light
Love what you said about our memories misleading us, I feel it’s literally the same reason why people continue to chase their emotionally unavailable love interests because the brain tends to forget the ugly parts of something over a significant chunk of time
whelp, this is amazing. i feel as though i am always drawn to who i was as a child, like i’ve lost her along the way. i feel as thought after reading this maybe i can find her by taking a few deep breaths and becoming more present. thank you for writing this, it’s beautiful <3
thank you for your comment, i feel the same exact way about my childhood self,, it was a big inspiration for writing this and it means so much to hear that others also feel this way <3
we are still the same souls! isn't that crazy?! its really hard for me to understand i am the same person i was when i was 7 or 14. but we still have that whimsical side to us but agree that with all these distractions, it makes time pass faster! the days when i try to be disiplined and stay off electronics are the better and longer days.
i had a convo with my sister about giving up my phone but she mentioned how impossible it would be since our whole life is pretty much engraved in our phones. almost everything requires some type of code or digital aspect which is so annoying.
i've tried so many times to cut down on all things digital, but it's so hard!! i totally agree with how they're so engrained in our lives. what's shifted the game for me is intentional/mindful consumption. i'm still practicing the habit, but choosing to sit and respond to texts when i'm actually in the mood for it (unless it's urgent) or lie down and fully immerse myself into scrolling on tiktok or pinterest (and not feeling bad about it haha) has somehow made it easier to cut out those times when i'm just reaching for my phone out of habit or distraction. still in a work in a progress though for me lol
Have you thought that maybe our digital assistants could be programmed to answer our needs better? We would not need to constantly polarize the "digital" world. Maybe we can stop guiltripping about our digital "friends" if we contribute to having them do what we want out of them: Create new moments like the Wii, etc. why let a few organizations control the algo that run our "digital wellbeing and fun" where they cater their algo to the masses. How can we contribute to making the digital world better and more syncretic to our planet needed?
I like this insight- not polarizing the digital world.
Thank you. You may then appreciate my fuller thougth inspired by Yana on the topic: https://open.substack.com/pub/technopoliticsmusinings/p/wasted-love?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=5bbgiy
A huge point which is missed here is our addictive, digital consumption. The older part of Gen Z still grew up without a phone in their hand. They still went up to each other to form new relationships, they knocked at each others house doors instead of messaging each other.
Phones and especially social media, completely turned our lives and the upbringing of future generations upside down.
agree, thank you for adding this! i will definitely be exploring and writing about this more. it's very true that many external factors, digital consumption being a huge one, have pulled us away from the way we used to live.
Thank you for writing about this topic! I think it is much more relevant than many of us give it credit for.
Absolutely, that point is completely missed and it plays a big role. Nowadays many relationships are formed or mostly kept online and it creates a complete disconnect from each other. We can pretend real connection exists online but it's really not the same and it will never be.
Being present, look closely and feel detailed life experiences. But our life is like routine so we easily forget what is life about. I should remind myself. I really like this, thx
One aspect that you miss is the playfulness of our childhood. I think as adults we conform way too much for fear of other's people disapproval. At the core of the nostalgiacore is indeed time but an even better solution than trying to squeeze more awareness of our day is to make our days more fun. Where are those amazingly immersive experience that we had in front of our Atari? (For me the last time was on the Wii). How can we create such systems that not only remind us of our childhood but expand on it around multiple axis while keeping fun authentic (not an exponential smoothing gaming algowhere we are always seeking the next hit/loot). Where are those companies? Where are their objective functions of bringing authentic fun back? That is what we miss the most.
absolutely - it’s not just presence we long for, it’s play (i think both are deeply connected - when you’re truly playful, you are present; if anything, playfulness is presence in motion). as kids, play was how we explored, created, and connected - it was immersive, purposeless in the best way. adulthood tends to squeeze that out with performance, conformity, and optimization.
we need systems, spaces, and yes, companies, that prioritize authentic fun - not dopamine farming, not gamified addiction loops, but real, imaginative, absorbing experiences. where’s the design philosophy that values wonder over winning? that direction could definitely make time feel rich again <3
You read my mind :) thank you! Read this article (from me) that was inspired by your thoughts (and a few friends) https://technopoliticsmusinings.substack.com/p/wasted-love
This is a subject I’ve been thinking about for years, and have never seen anyone else mention or articulate. Week to week, when I’m in my normal daily grind, the days fly by and a week can feel like a mere few days. On the other hand, when I'm traveling and my days are filled with experiences that are new to me, those chunks of time always feel so much longer. Several years ago, I spent 3 weeks traveling around Europe. By the time I returned home, I truly felt like I had been away for 3 months. It’s kind of an amazing phenomenon.
Monotony seems to be the time thief.
monotony is the time thief – i love that framing. it truly is.
novelty expands time not just in memory, but in the moment itself. it’s wild how a single new experience can stretch a day, while routine collapses weeks into a blur. your europe example captures it perfectly - that deep, embodied sense of time lived <3
One of the saddest sentences is "you can go back, but no one would be there". Actually it used to get to me, but sometimes we have the same people from our childhood and we still feel nostalgic. It was the fact that we were children, feeling everything at the core of our souls. Your words touched something in me<33
Great article. My mentor once told me, "it's not the place you miss - it's the time." And if overtime, thanks to liquid modernity, what we loved as children becomes unrecognizable and everyone you grow up with becomes a transient cog in the workforce...I wonder if this adds another element as well.
i completely agree with what your mentor said. also with your second point - i think it definitely does play a role. i wish more people were aware of this.
Even nostalgia isn't what it used to be!
right?! even nostalgia feels flattened now - like we’re recycling feelings instead of truly remembering. it’s more aesthetic than emotional. perhaps we’re longing for a time when longing itself felt deeper <3
this connects a lot to the film called “about time” starring rachel mcadams. if this article resonates with you, i highly recommend you watch the movie. i watched on amazon prime.
adding it to my list! i'm excited to watch it :)
One of my all time favourite movies, and it absolutely reflects all the sentiments expressed in this article 🫶🏼
This made me realise how important “side quests” should be especially in your teens and early 20s, you are never going to be this age again so you should go off and do something super random, too create memories, too have fun and too make time feel slower 🥲
yes to side quests!! i’m a huge believer that our “main quest” should be our curiosities + passions - and our jobs can be the side quests. obviously working takes time and matters a lot, but i hate how it’s become the default identity (especially when we’re asked, “what do you do?”! i don't care what industry you work in, i'm curious about what lights you up!!) our passions deserve more than the leftover space!
I think a lot of this has to do with the way our society is structured around leverage and insecurity.
What once fueled curiosity and possibility gets redirected toward protection… toward fear.
Our energy shifts from wonder to survival.
From presence to comparison.
From exploration to expectation.
And expectation robs us of the moment.
It turns a novel experience into something to measure.
It’s a way of trying to feel control
a confidence in how something should feel.
But that often leaves us disappointed.
To me, this experience isn’t just about aging.
It’s about perspective.
When we’re young, we imagine countless futures.
But as we age into the future, we start comparing what is to what we imagined.
“It’s not that time moves faster.
It’s that we stop noticing it.”
Yes! There’s novelty in every moment.
But we become conditioned away from seeing it.
“but we become conditioned away from seeing it” - i really agree. our attention is shaped by the systems we live in. this conditioning very much pulls us out of the present, and we start living more in expectation than in actual experience.
"I think a lot of this has to do with the way our society is structured around leverage and insecurity". Absolutely. And digital spaces only fuel that, in my opinion. Your comment made complete sense to me, and the opening sentence is just brutally true.
Omg, yes! I loved read this
I really like nostalgiacore cause i felt like it was huging my inner silly child, but sometimes its just so sad to think about 'n miss my childhood.
totally get that - nostalgiacore can feel like a warm hug and a gut-punch at the same time haha. it taps into that tender space where your inner child still lives, but also reminds you how far you’ve drifted. i like to remind myself not to get stuck in the missing, but to invite that silly, curious part of me back into the present <3